1:04am

The world on my google stats page is lighting up, which means you’re all active. There’s never a time when I don’t love to see you hanging around here at the Dirthouse but it’s currently 12:35 am in Australia and I’m starting to get mildly pissed off with the fact that I cant sleep. Through the paper-thin walls I can hear Countess K’s companion snoring, old mate isn’t even in his own bed and it sounds like he is having the best sleep of his life. Meanwhile here in he Queens quarters (I’m referring to myself as a Queen now because I’m starting to become mildly delirious from lack of shut eye) I’ve got my pillow propped to perfection, a sensual aromatic candle burning softly and the ever so slight sound of rain pitter pattering down my balcony window and I still cant fucking sleep. Tea was a terrible tactic as I now feel like I have to get up to pee every 10 minutes and no matter how hard I try to resist checking my phone I keep getting these telepathic vibrations from under my bed (where I hide my phone) telling me that someone handsome and wonderful with an incredible crop of chest hair has just texted me proposing marriage and two babies – boy and girl of course.

Oh poo.  I’m losing it.

1:04 am what does Women’s Health magazine say about people who don’t manage to get at least 7-9 hours sleep a night? They are more prone to getting fat! I think that was it. Great now I’m not only going to be sleep deprived in the morning but I’m going to be a fraction fatter than all of the other Queen’s who are probably sleeping soundly in their beds as we speak.

Shut up! No, not you…definitely not you - It’s me…somehow I just need to peel myself away from the computer, get up, do a wee, turn off the light then go to sleep.

Arggghghggggg

Peeling, peeling, slowly, slowly

Peeeeeeelingggggggg….

Goodnight all x