A Literary Edventure

I admit the last time I read anything of great political, spiritual or philosophical importance I was 17 and thought I would impress my sociology tutor if I memorised an entire chapter on Goffman's theory.

These days I am guilty of reading only material that is worthy of creating a magnificent flat lay image on Instagram, even then if I don't get at least 10 likes in 10 minutes I feel compelled to give up my latest read for something that looks more aesthetically pleasing on my coffee table.

"But that two page article on body dismophia in Elle Magazine was totes engaging" said any daft gen y girl.

Sure, sometimes the contents of glossy mags have the ability to educate and entertain us for as long as it takes our colourist to work their magic on our regrowth. However, when was the last time you actually read something that not only held your attention for more than one sitting but forced you to question your core beliefs and even your existence?

For me it was last weekend with Noosa boy.

'Have you read this?' he asked holding up a second hand book with a hideous blue and orange cover.

'Nah' I replied flicking through the pages of a love and relationship astrology guide.

'Well you should' he said thrusting the book in front of me.

I took the book and ran my fingers over the worn edges before putting in back on the shelf.

"I think my mum has it, I'll borrow it off her."

I pretended not to notice him rolling his eyes and then pointed out a stack of healthy recipe books as a reason to walk over to a different part of the store.

We found each other 10 minutes later at the entrance. He took my hand and led me out onto the street, his other hand was hidden firmly behind his back.

"What you got there Mr?" I asked in a girlish manner.

He handed me the book he'd shown me previously, though it was old and ugly I was happy that he'd gotten it for me, it was the sweetest gesture I'd received from a guy in a while.

"Read it, It will change your life."

It's a no brainer that if a girl wants to impress a guy she much first delve into his mind to find out what he likes. So when a cute guy not only tells you how much he likes a book but secretly buys it and writes in the front page you sit yo ass down and read it!

As soon as I got home I lay down in the sun chair and began to read. Four hours later I emerged with a brain full of thought and a very sunburnt belly.

"Mum have you read this book?!" I said as I flung open the back door.

This question was mainly just for theatrics as I vaguely remember her boasting about it when I was in school. She looked up from her laptop and glimpsed at the cover.

"Yes, I have all of the books" she said.

"Why didn't you get me to read it sooner?" I asked adjusting my bikini that had somehow got lost up my butt in the last few hours.

"I did" she replied giving me that look.

"Years ago but you didn't care".

"Well, I would have cared if you'd told me inside this book was the fucking secret to life". I cried thrusting the book into the air with one hand like in the scene from The Lion King when Rafiki holds Simba in the air.

She gave me that look again (the look that says I can't believe I created and birthed such a massive dickhead) and went back to work. I walked off into my bedroom where I proceeded to read the rest of the book.

That night I lay in bed awake at 3am thinking about what I had just read. Summarising the chapters over in my head.

There were so many concepts in this book that I could relate to but the best part was that it extended beyond my ideas and challenged me to think differently about everything.

“The things that we preceive as beautiful may be different, but the actual characteristics we ascribe to beautiful objects are similar. Think about it. When something strikes us as beautiful, it displays more presence and sharpness of shape and vividness of color, doesn't it? It stands out. It shines. It seems almost iridescent compared to the dullness of other objects less attractive.” James Redfeild

I couldn't think of the last article I read that had such a massive affect on me. In fact I can't remember the last time I read anything that actually made me think, period.

What I want to discuss in this post is not so much the particular book I am referring to but the act of reading in general. 

When was the last time you read anything of great substance? 

(don't get that question confused with when was the last time you read the label on a great substance? Because if that was the question I'd answer, yesterday when I was reading the alcohol content on a Patron bottle). 

But seriously...when was the last time you read a great novel from beginning to end? 

I think its totally fine to read non-fiction book with a pretty cover and size 100 font written by some ex realty television star but every now and then we should try read for enlightenment opposed to purely for entertainment. 

I bet you're thinking isn't this rich coming from a blogger who breaks up her crude, grammatically substandard writing with pictures of headless males, but in my defence that article I wrote on Luna Beads (vaginal strengthening tools) was enlightening for those who wish to have a strong pelvic floor, okay!

Sometimes the 'any daft gen y girl' quoted above is me. I take great pleasure in flicking through the elleaus hashtag and enjoying the visual feast of flat lay images, I have read all of Jackie Collins books and don't even get me started on Candice Bushnell but it's been way too long since I've read something that has actually challenged me.

Just in case you're wondering which book I'm talking about here it is...

The Celestine Prophecy by James Redfeild. Some of you may have already read it and agree with me and some of you for whatever reason may disagree with me completely, either way you need to experience it.

Don't wait for a cute boy to buy it for you, take this as the coincidence you need to go out and buy it yourself (after you read it you'll understand what I mean).

More suggestions for great books you can read while waiting for the next issue of Elle?

1. The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
2. Shantaram by Gregory David Roberts
3. Go Ask Alice by Beatrice Sparks

Special thanks to Noosa boy for encouraging me to read again! You're not just a pretty chest.

What If?

Do you ever wonder what if? What if you never left the small town you grew up in? What if you fell in love with a boy you met at a local event one balmy Summer night? How would your life differ if you chose the same path as your parents?

To be honest I've never really asked myself these questions. When I was 17 I left Noosa and never looked back, until now.

My parents met at The Reef Hotel, one of the only bars in my beachy home town of Noosa. They fell in love, bought a piece of land and built a beautiful home by the sea. A short time later they had me.

From a young age I decided that the Noosa lifestyle wasn't for me. The popular girls at my school had deep tans and sun bleached blonde hair, they dated surfers, went to beach parties and spent their summers in Bali.

I had thick black hair and due to my painfully flat chest I hated wearing a bikini. For fun my friends and I would dress up and go to restaurants along Hastings Street to flirt with the older waiters. 

When I moved to Sydney I felt like I was finally where I was always meant to be. I immediately immersed myself in city life and went back to Noosa only to visit my family.

However, in the last year I feel as though I have rediscovered Noosa and have started to appreciate what the rest of the world sees in this idyllic town. 

What's all this got to do with the strapping shirtless lad at the top of the page? Well it was this handsome stranger who recently gave me a new found appreciation of this town and a very special glimpse into what my life could be like if I had decided to stay in Noosa.

I met him by accident the last time I was in Noosa with the Queens. I'd decided to take the girls out to show them what my home town had to offer. As they loved Byron Bay I was sure they'd be excited by the abundance of surfers and backpackers who filled the tiny local bar on a Saturday night. My goal for the night was to make sure my girls had a good time and avoid running into anyone I went to high school with. Somewhere between happy hour and falling asleep on the beach I was approached by an incredibly handsome man who looked to be in his late twenties.

I knew this game all too well, in fact after living in the city for over four years I was skilled in the art of 'picking up on the piss'. The skilful part didn't take place during the night when the alcohol was flowing and the beer googles were on, the skilful part was waking up in the morning and not only realising but accepting that the mysterious prince charming you'd met the night before was actually just a slightly chubby middle aged man with a lazy eye and an over grown monobrow which cast a not so seductive shadow over his face.

To my complete and utter shock this moment never came. The next morning we all woke up on the beach fully clothed and as I rolled over to face reality, I was greeted by the most beautiful, alluring and caring smile I'd ever seen.

The first thing I thought was: 'I did not just pick up this sexy fucking man' and the second thing that came to mind was: 'I did not just pick up this sexy fucking man in Noosa'.

I didn't speak to Noosa boy again until I got back to Sydney. I think I just assumed it was too good to be true and that it would be best just to carry on with my complicated relationship with Mr R. And then the day after Mr R left for Costa Rica, Noosa Boy called me.

That day we spoke until my battery died (exactly 2 hours and 31 minutes). The following day we spoke for the same amount of time, twice during the day. This continued for an entire month until one night I found myself on the phone to him incredibly drunk and said something along the lines of "I really like the way you talk, I really like you."

Profound, I know. And then last weekend in the heat of the moment I booked a flight to Noosa for five days.

"Guess what?" I asked him over the phone trying to keep my composure.

"What?" he replied playfully.

"Well..."I hesitated for a moment.

"...I'm coming to Noosa tomorrow"

Silence.

"Well what do you think?" I questioned, my stomach sinking rapidly. He doesn't want to see me, he doesn't want to see me.

"Babe, thats amazing...but..."

He thinks I'm crazy, he doesn't want to see me.

"But, I was planning on coming to Sydney to surprise you."

I couldn't believe it. Who was this magnificent creature? After a bucket full of "You're joking's" and "what are the odds?" we agreed that I'd come to Noosa and he'd stay right where he was.

12 hours later I was on a plane and a further 2 hours after that he was there waiting for me at the airport.

The last five days have been the best five days I've had in Noosa since the summer of my senior year. We did everything that two people do to entertain themselves in a small town. We went to the Eumundi markets, the farmers markets, swam in the ocean and hung out by the pool for hours. Most of all we took pleasure in just laying in the sun and talking. It was simple, it was easy and unlike the relationships I had been involved in, in the city, there was absolutely no drama.

It didn't hurt that Noosa boy was originally a city boy who grew up in Melbourne and now lived in one of the Sunshine Coast's most beautiful resorts.

By the end of my spontaneous five day holiday I was well and truly torn. Why live in a noisy polluted city when I can live in beautiful, safe, carefree Noosa? My best girlfriend from high school, Rachel sensed my confusion over the phone and told me to meet her at Bistro C immediately.

Over champagne and cocktails we laughed at my predicament, something that would have absolutely never crossed my mind before meeting Noosa boy.

"Now you know how I felt when I stayed in Noosa for Dane" She said speaking fondly of her high school sweetheart who she'd broken up with a year ago.

I sipped on my cocktail and pondered the thought.

What if I met Noosa boy merely a few years ago when I'd just finished high school? Would I have still moved to the big city in search of bigger things? or would have I been more inclined to take a different path, a path almost identical to my parents?

The feeling in the air was strange and slightly awkward when he dropped me off at my parents house a couple of hours before my flight. 

'So I guess that's it." I said trying not to make eye contact.

"Of course that not it" he said taking my hand in his.

We both decided that it would be best if we just remained friends. After all thats all we ever were to begin with, just friends with a crazy plutonic connection, a electric chemistry and the uncanny ability to be completely ourselves around one another. A relationship that was born out of total lack of expectation and developed into something warm and pure completely over night.

The whole way back to Sydney I felt apprehensive about the future. What was I chasing in the city exactly? Would I wake up one day and realise that all I ever wanted, a safe friendly community, a breathtaking view and a genuine man was always in Noosa?

I got off the plane at Sydney airport and my phone went into a buzzing frenzy as I switched it off flight mode.

I called the number at the top of my missed calls log, my manager. Great back to reality, back to work. 

"What have you been doing? I couldn't get a hold of you" she asked as soon as she answered the phone.

"I've been on a plane" I murmured trying to juggle my carry on luggage.

"I just got out of a Skype meeting with Elyce (side note: Elyce is the CEO of the company I currently work for) and well, she wants to promote you".

This time I was the one responsible for the phone silence.

"It's a crazy amazing opportunity" she continued.

"You can defer uni and just go straight into a full-time paying job, you'll be able to represent an incredible up and coming brand and attend events."

"Oh my god" was all that I could manage.

Sometimes I wish my life was straight forward like a smooth glassy wave rolling into the shore, but it's not. It's crazy and unpredictable and although sometimes I long for the simple life I had growing up in one of the worlds most beautiful places, I know that something good will eventually come from throwing myself into the deep end now. 

That's not to say I will forget about Noosa boy...

There's always Easter holidays, Christmas holidays, Halloween, Mothers day, Fathers day and Anzac day long weekend. All completely appropriate times to return to Noosa for an innocent little distraction. 

Sometimes we don't know why we choose to do the things we do but we persist, it's that little voice inside our heads telling us to keep going in one direction or another. Even though a more simplistic life is sometimes just a plane ride away, we know what we have to do in order to satisfy our own desires. We have to forge our own paths completely irrespective of anyone else and entirely for our own fulfilment.

Don't ask me why. I'm still trying to figure it out myself. 

Project Birthday Soiree

Today is a good day.

The sun is shining above the skyscrapers in the city, my little brother has been caught red handed with an attractive blonde girl in his room and I've just commenced project birthday soiree.

Project Birthday Soiree

It's my b-day in exactly one month (woo hoo) and it's kind of a milestone. At this stage in my life I've well and truly left my teenage years behind and I'm up and running towards full blown adult life. Well, not running. I'm sort of hobbling at the moment which is a result of a high alcohol/dominos pizza diet and minimal exercise and by minimal exercise I mean walking to the 7/11 to get Reese's Peanut Butter Cups.

This type of juvenile behaviour does not an adult make and therefore as of today I'm back on the wagon!

My wagon looks like a sleek paleolithic lifestyle as well as at least 30 minutes of exercise a day. I always find that my body responds better to a low carb/ high protein and fat based diet, the weight basically falls off.

Anyway there's absolutely no use just talking about it so put on your Nike free runners, grab your polarised Ray Bans and lets go!

If you live in Sydney you'll know that there is no better pavement to pound than the one which wraps around the East coast. The Coogee - Bondi track extends for 6km and has several staircases and steep inclines for the ultimate workout.

Did I also mention that its absolutely stunning?

Before long Ms P and I started to work up a serious sweat...

And decided to head to Tamarama Beach to cool off. According to bonditocoogeewalk.com Tamarama is where beautiful Sydneysiders hang out, earning it the nickname 'Glamarama'.

Well I've never heard anyone refer to Tamarama as Glamarama before and I probably wouldn't call the fat old hairy man who bowled me over in the surf "beautiful" but I'm sure this place sees its fair share of hot local talent...

Mmmhmm.

After we soaked up the sun, it was time to get back in our exercise gear and complete the track.

Elaborate yoga poses anyone?

Tricky eh? What you don't see here is me getting tangled up in my oversized pineapple shirt and nearly falling off the cliff to my death.

Moving on... 

Once we finally finished the walk we headed over to North Bondi for a post workout Paleo smoothie at Bondi Wholefoods. 

My super smoothie consisted of banana, cinnamon, coconut water, chia seed and coconut oil and Ms P got the same but with watermelon instead of banana. Yum! Super foods such as chia and coconuts are integral to project birthday soiree as they have heaps of crazy nutritional benefits and keep you fuller for longer!

On the way home we stopped at Earth to Table in Bondi Junction to grab an early dinner. Next time you feel like a big bowl of carbs, swap wheat pasta for zucchini pasta. You don't even need to own a spiraliser (the tool used to make the zucchini look like spagetti strands) just use a carrot pealer.

Great paleo pasta recipe coming soon to the blog!

The secret to success is consistency. So we woke up early the next day and did it all over again...

A plate of sides for breakfast at Fouratefive in Surry Hills.

*side note - ordering a plate of sides usually works out cheaper than getting a dish and deducting the bread, hash browns etc.

And back on the track...

This time we completed Bondi - Coggee 10 minutes faster! 

Wait, but we didn't swim this time.

Which actually means it took us longer to complete the track second time round.

Oh. 

Anyway how gorgeous is the view from Icebergs Terrace Cafe!?  It took me a long time to realise that the cafe even existed but unlike the inside of Icebergs the terrace is super casual and absolutely free to get in! It's kind of hidden away so if you get lost ask reception where it is. The view is breathtaking!

And the menu is pretty good too. A little bit on the expensive side but the coffee is incredible as is the super grain salad!

I always get stumped for salad ideas at home thats why I  like to take a photo of the menu when I'm dining out. The super grain salad is super easy to reconstruct at home and it will certainly be cheaper to make your own! 

Project Birthday Soiree is going to be no easy feat especially with Easter just around the corner, however by sticking to a Paleo diet I may just make it!

Two days down 29 to go.

Clean Bandit - Rather Be feat. Jess Glynne

Don't let the snap shot of the smelly fish market fool you this new track from Clean Bandit is FRESH!

Have a good weekend everyone!!

Xx

MOTM - The King of Crown Street

Man of The Moment - Mr. C

A little background info:

The first time I met Mr C at our former place of work (A popular Surry Hills bar) I hated him and I'm 100% sure he wasn't too fond of me either. Like a pair of ignorant dick heads we made assumptions about each other based on appearance and it wasn't long before our mutual abhorrence for one another turned into a serious workplace hazard.

I initially thought that Mr C was just another self important Surry Hills hipster who considered himself to be a lot smarter, edgier and cooler than the rest of us.

He thought I was a culturally-vapid bimbo with low self-esteem and the complete inability to think for myself. I admit the revealing American apparel leotard that I used to wear with leather pants for extra tips didn't do me any favours.

It wasn't until one night when he was forced to supervise me in lower bar that we realised we had more in common than we thought. The love of Aussie bulldogs and sloth memes just to name a few.

Now Mr C is a good mate of mine and he is not only important to me but to the make up of Surry Hills.

Mr C is to Surry Hills what crema is to espresso. With his undeniably cool eclectic style and an almost unnerving amount of self confidence, Mr T has proved himself to be a major component in the Surry Hills social scene. Having lived smack bang in the middle of Crown Street for the past four years it's no surprise that every homeless man and barista within a 5km radius knows who he is.

I caught up with Mr. C at Gnome Esspresso and Winebar to chat about Surry Hills, girls and that distinguished womb broom.

As I walked up from Bourke Street I spotted him straight away sitting outside the cafe talking to a pretty young girl who appeared to be sporting a very giddy grin.

I've never been attracted to alternative looking men however there is just something about Mr C that can make any girl weak in the knees.

What's he got that makes him hot?

• A degree in Economics majoring in Environmental Science
• The ability to whisper sweet nothing to you in Spanish (the guy's practically fluent)
• A wicked sense of humour 
• Can make a mean cocktail and generate exceptional over the bar banter
• Hair that rivals Jared Leto's famous Oscar do

Apart from the sexy Johnny Depp bartender look he's going on I think the most attractive thing about Mr C is that he's an epic conversationalist. He is one of those guys that you can talk to for ages and be so engaged in what he has to say that you forget to drink your beer. One minute you could be talking about modern literature and the next he's telling you how to grow a plant out of the back of a toilet, the whole time you're mesmerised by the arrangement of his words and the way his mo moves when he speaks. 

Now that I've finished dishing out the goss on him, let's see what Mr C has to say.

Lets hear it from the boy:

What's your favourite thing about Surry Hills?

I've got all my mates here. You can walk into any cafe, pub, store and have a chat with almost everyone. There's a cool sense of community here.

What do you look for in a girl?

Common ground mostly. I don't really have a physical type at all. I'm attracted to girls who have the same interests as me, whether it be the love of music or the desire to travel.

Best places to eat in Surry Hills?

Lucky Pickle sandwich shop! The coffee and the sandwiches are awesome and cheap. St Judes is also a top spot. 

And for a drink?

Black Penny on the corner of Bourke and Cleveland Street. The people who work there are really cool.

Do you think it's your dazzling womb broom that gets the ladies?

Probably doesn't hurt. You're the lady here though. You tell me...

My verdict:

Yes.

Back to School- Body Odor, Porn & Tiny Asian Adolescence

I'm not going to lie my head has been up in the clouds lately. When I'm not at the boutique selling high end lingerie to Sydney socialites I'm hanging out at a Surry hills cafe writing for you fine people. Even The Dirthouse has felt a little less filthy lately with stories of barristers and big name clients from Ms P's new law firm filling the air. 

But nothing and I mean nothing brings you back down to earth like starting back at university. Shit I'm in the wrong lecture theatre.

You'd think after three years I'd have this all down pat but obviously not. 

Great, now I have to slide past five people to the isle and sneak out of here.  

The hallway is full of clueless dickheads like me scurrying to find their class. The potent aroma of BO smothered in Rexona lingers in the air.  

I find the room on my timetable and head for the back corner of the lecture theatre. I quickly open my Moleskine notebook...mmm Moleskine. I discretely sniff the black leather and a young girl catches me. Awkward. I reach into my bag for a pen. No pen just a thousand packets of tampons. Soooo that's where they all are.

I recognise the girl two seats away from me. I think she was in my second year public relations class. I need to borrow a pen. I work up the courage to ask for one but as I lean over something else catches her attention. I follow her gaze across the room, there are two girls waving, she gets up and skips over to meet them.

I have no friends.

Man being a lecturer must suck. You're so over qualified and no one is listening to what you have to say. I look down and see twenty Macs open in front of me.

Facebook, Facebook, Tumblr, porn, Facebook. 

The pink attendance form is the only reason why there is anyone here at all.  

"Paige" I hear a female voice whisper from above 

I turn around and see a familiar face but no name comes to mind. I have absolutely no clue. Second year advertising class maybe? 

"Hey how are you?" I say cheerfully.

"Good good, what are you still doing here didn't you graduate last year?" she asks. 

What I want to say: Oh I didn't quite finish on time because I decided that it was more beneficial to reduce my workload. You see I was partaking in two highly sort after internships at renowned sydney PR firms but after being promoted to account executive I realised the industry wasn't for me so I decided to focus on my writing career instead, which is flourishing rapidly. Half, no three quarters bullshit.

What I actually say:  Nope still here I just love uni sooo much. I hope she picks up on my sarcastic tone.

"Oh that's cute" She doesn't. 

I turn back around and try to tune into what I'm actually meant to be doing.

Ideal reading positions. Really? I'm paying thousands and thousands of dollars to learn about the best way to read a textbook. This is a PR class for god's sake they need to be teaching us how to survive the duration of an internship, the best way to change a bin liner and how to remember seven coffee orders off the top of your head. 

I zone out for the rest of the class. 

One subject down, two to go. Between PR and communication strategies I have an hour break.  

Oh my way to lower campus I spot a slightly grey sliver man in his late thirties sticking out like a sore thumb amidst a sea of tiny Asian adolescence.  

"Marcus!" I shout He swings around in surprise.  

"Thank fuck" he cries throwing his arms around me and nearly bowling me over. 

Trust my only friend on the entire campus to be a middle aged gay man. Who by the way is fucking hilarious and always manages to get my ass into Sydney's best parties.  He's already got his own business but chooses to study part time to "broaden his horizons". 

We sit down on a ledge outside the cafeteria.  

"I feel like I'm 13 again, getting my name called in class" I mumble bitting into an apple. 

"Honey you are 13" he says searching through his Armani man bag.  

"You're 13 and I'm 103. I'd have to be the oldest fucker in this place" He pulls out a pack of cigarettes 

"And the richest" I brush the side of his Prada loafers with my navy Vans. We both laugh. 

He offers me a cigarette. I'm tempted because I know that it would make me look really cool. 


But I decline, I think my naughty school days are over.  

A 20 something guy walks past in jeans and a white t-shirt, a patch of glimmering chest hair peaking out the top. 

Yummy. 

He smiles and I smile back. Maybe my naughty school days aren't over just yet.

*

What I should be reading:

Public Relations Strategies and Tactics

What I'm actually reading:

The Hook-Up Culture Only Exists Because This Generation Has Never Properly Fallen In Love via Elite Daily

Whatever Suits by Zoe Foster-Blake in this month's Elle magazine

Hope those of you who are also back at uni are making the most of being a student.

• Cheap public transport
• Regular Centrelink payments
• Happy hour drinks at the uni bar
• Hairy young entrepreneurs
• Bucket loads of cool friend (unless you're me)                                                                           

The list goes on.

Let me know what you love/hate most about university life!