What If?

Do you ever wonder what if? What if you never left the small town you grew up in? What if you fell in love with a boy you met at a local event one balmy Summer night? How would your life differ if you chose the same path as your parents?

To be honest I've never really asked myself these questions. When I was 17 I left Noosa and never looked back, until now.

My parents met at The Reef Hotel, one of the only bars in my beachy home town of Noosa. They fell in love, bought a piece of land and built a beautiful home by the sea. A short time later they had me.

From a young age I decided that the Noosa lifestyle wasn't for me. The popular girls at my school had deep tans and sun bleached blonde hair, they dated surfers, went to beach parties and spent their summers in Bali.

I had thick black hair and due to my painfully flat chest I hated wearing a bikini. For fun my friends and I would dress up and go to restaurants along Hastings Street to flirt with the older waiters. 

When I moved to Sydney I felt like I was finally where I was always meant to be. I immediately immersed myself in city life and went back to Noosa only to visit my family.

However, in the last year I feel as though I have rediscovered Noosa and have started to appreciate what the rest of the world sees in this idyllic town. 

What's all this got to do with the strapping shirtless lad at the top of the page? Well it was this handsome stranger who recently gave me a new found appreciation of this town and a very special glimpse into what my life could be like if I had decided to stay in Noosa.

I met him by accident the last time I was in Noosa with the Queens. I'd decided to take the girls out to show them what my home town had to offer. As they loved Byron Bay I was sure they'd be excited by the abundance of surfers and backpackers who filled the tiny local bar on a Saturday night. My goal for the night was to make sure my girls had a good time and avoid running into anyone I went to high school with. Somewhere between happy hour and falling asleep on the beach I was approached by an incredibly handsome man who looked to be in his late twenties.

I knew this game all too well, in fact after living in the city for over four years I was skilled in the art of 'picking up on the piss'. The skilful part didn't take place during the night when the alcohol was flowing and the beer googles were on, the skilful part was waking up in the morning and not only realising but accepting that the mysterious prince charming you'd met the night before was actually just a slightly chubby middle aged man with a lazy eye and an over grown monobrow which cast a not so seductive shadow over his face.

To my complete and utter shock this moment never came. The next morning we all woke up on the beach fully clothed and as I rolled over to face reality, I was greeted by the most beautiful, alluring and caring smile I'd ever seen.

The first thing I thought was: 'I did not just pick up this sexy fucking man' and the second thing that came to mind was: 'I did not just pick up this sexy fucking man in Noosa'.

I didn't speak to Noosa boy again until I got back to Sydney. I think I just assumed it was too good to be true and that it would be best just to carry on with my complicated relationship with Mr R. And then the day after Mr R left for Costa Rica, Noosa Boy called me.

That day we spoke until my battery died (exactly 2 hours and 31 minutes). The following day we spoke for the same amount of time, twice during the day. This continued for an entire month until one night I found myself on the phone to him incredibly drunk and said something along the lines of "I really like the way you talk, I really like you."

Profound, I know. And then last weekend in the heat of the moment I booked a flight to Noosa for five days.

"Guess what?" I asked him over the phone trying to keep my composure.

"What?" he replied playfully.

"Well..."I hesitated for a moment.

"...I'm coming to Noosa tomorrow"

Silence.

"Well what do you think?" I questioned, my stomach sinking rapidly. He doesn't want to see me, he doesn't want to see me.

"Babe, thats amazing...but..."

He thinks I'm crazy, he doesn't want to see me.

"But, I was planning on coming to Sydney to surprise you."

I couldn't believe it. Who was this magnificent creature? After a bucket full of "You're joking's" and "what are the odds?" we agreed that I'd come to Noosa and he'd stay right where he was.

12 hours later I was on a plane and a further 2 hours after that he was there waiting for me at the airport.

The last five days have been the best five days I've had in Noosa since the summer of my senior year. We did everything that two people do to entertain themselves in a small town. We went to the Eumundi markets, the farmers markets, swam in the ocean and hung out by the pool for hours. Most of all we took pleasure in just laying in the sun and talking. It was simple, it was easy and unlike the relationships I had been involved in, in the city, there was absolutely no drama.

It didn't hurt that Noosa boy was originally a city boy who grew up in Melbourne and now lived in one of the Sunshine Coast's most beautiful resorts.

By the end of my spontaneous five day holiday I was well and truly torn. Why live in a noisy polluted city when I can live in beautiful, safe, carefree Noosa? My best girlfriend from high school, Rachel sensed my confusion over the phone and told me to meet her at Bistro C immediately.

Over champagne and cocktails we laughed at my predicament, something that would have absolutely never crossed my mind before meeting Noosa boy.

"Now you know how I felt when I stayed in Noosa for Dane" She said speaking fondly of her high school sweetheart who she'd broken up with a year ago.

I sipped on my cocktail and pondered the thought.

What if I met Noosa boy merely a few years ago when I'd just finished high school? Would I have still moved to the big city in search of bigger things? or would have I been more inclined to take a different path, a path almost identical to my parents?

The feeling in the air was strange and slightly awkward when he dropped me off at my parents house a couple of hours before my flight. 

'So I guess that's it." I said trying not to make eye contact.

"Of course that not it" he said taking my hand in his.

We both decided that it would be best if we just remained friends. After all thats all we ever were to begin with, just friends with a crazy plutonic connection, a electric chemistry and the uncanny ability to be completely ourselves around one another. A relationship that was born out of total lack of expectation and developed into something warm and pure completely over night.

The whole way back to Sydney I felt apprehensive about the future. What was I chasing in the city exactly? Would I wake up one day and realise that all I ever wanted, a safe friendly community, a breathtaking view and a genuine man was always in Noosa?

I got off the plane at Sydney airport and my phone went into a buzzing frenzy as I switched it off flight mode.

I called the number at the top of my missed calls log, my manager. Great back to reality, back to work. 

"What have you been doing? I couldn't get a hold of you" she asked as soon as she answered the phone.

"I've been on a plane" I murmured trying to juggle my carry on luggage.

"I just got out of a Skype meeting with Elyce (side note: Elyce is the CEO of the company I currently work for) and well, she wants to promote you".

This time I was the one responsible for the phone silence.

"It's a crazy amazing opportunity" she continued.

"You can defer uni and just go straight into a full-time paying job, you'll be able to represent an incredible up and coming brand and attend events."

"Oh my god" was all that I could manage.

Sometimes I wish my life was straight forward like a smooth glassy wave rolling into the shore, but it's not. It's crazy and unpredictable and although sometimes I long for the simple life I had growing up in one of the worlds most beautiful places, I know that something good will eventually come from throwing myself into the deep end now. 

That's not to say I will forget about Noosa boy...

There's always Easter holidays, Christmas holidays, Halloween, Mothers day, Fathers day and Anzac day long weekend. All completely appropriate times to return to Noosa for an innocent little distraction. 

Sometimes we don't know why we choose to do the things we do but we persist, it's that little voice inside our heads telling us to keep going in one direction or another. Even though a more simplistic life is sometimes just a plane ride away, we know what we have to do in order to satisfy our own desires. We have to forge our own paths completely irrespective of anyone else and entirely for our own fulfilment.

Don't ask me why. I'm still trying to figure it out myself.