Fear of the Feed

If I didn’t have to check Facebook for work, I wouldn’t go on ever again.

I came to this conclusion just now.

Why? Because the goddamn thing is out to get me that’s why!

For some reason I always find the most uncomfortable stuff at the top of my feed. 

It’s never a picture of a mean girl I went to school with who got fat or pregnant or both, it’s always, ALWAYS something I don’t want to see.

At 6:30 am every day I jump on the Bok as my co-worker calls it to check for saucy lingerie updates on Maple HQ’s page, unfortunately there’s no direct route. To get there I always have to go to my personal home page first, which I personally f*cking hate.

Let me give you a few examples…

Today it was merely moments after I opened my eyes (which would have rather remained shut for another few minutes or hours) and jumped on that I was struck by a photo that made me so jealous I wanted to cry.

Ms B looking hot and tan riding little bike under the Eiffle Tower and under that was a whole album of their travels! 

But the absolute worst happened merely moments ago. Something so shocking it immediately compelled me to crush my empty coffee cup in my hand like in the movies.

I went on to post a picture of our latest style, which I love and was immediately eye raped with a sight I LOATH. 

A selfie of my ex and another GIRL.

What even the fuck is this Facebook you cruel mistress?!

If anyone has a secret IT code to further prevent this please post below and/or if you feel my pain and would like share your experience comment below also.

Until then I will continue to live in fear of my feed. 

Oh the internal struggles of being a 20 something in the 21st century.