Moleskin, Coffee and Ray Bans- Thats What I Call Getting An Education

A couple of weeks ago I had my first tutorial of the year, for those whose lives aren't ruled by the institution call university, a tutorial takes place in a more intimate setting of about 20 students unlike a lecture which usually consists of the entire cohort.

Anyway, as I walked into the classroom I noticed the chairs had all been place in a circle facing each other. Ice breaking activities are very popular in week one, it takes me back to primary school when the vulnerability of not knowing anyone yet being forced to speak made me want to vomit on my practical yet incredibly hideous velcro shoes.

What happened next proved I was no longer that insecure adolescent or that through hundreds of hours of classroom discussions with strangers I no longer cared or censored too much about what I said.

One by one the tutor asked us to say our name and what we choose to make public and what platform we use.

Jennifer Lung makes public her photos on Facebook, Tara Jackson makes public her opinion on Twitter as well as photos of her cat, Max on Tumblr. Alexandra Mayne doesn't think she is a very public person as she has a private Instagram account. And then it was my turn...

My name is Paige and I make public virtually every aspect of my life via a personal blog. The tutor (who is actually very cute) gave me a look like i had just given him permission to ask me if and how I maintain my pubic hair. Is this the type of blog you share with your friends and family? he asked me. God no, only with strangers I laughed. The class went quiet and Tara shot me a look like i'd just killed her cat. I didn't realise that this was such an absurd concept to some, especially since almost everyone is living in the public eye these days.

Remember that bitchy girl you accepted as a fb friend in year 11 just to get on her good side? She probably takes the piss with her friends when you post soppy lyrics as your status in a fleeting moment of weakness, not all of your "friends" are friends. Since I created a fb account when I was 16 I have accumulated 1825 "friends" yet I'd most definitely rather share my opinion here on this blog with people who voluntarily chose to engage in it than people who probably punched holes in my year book picture.

You are here because you've found a way to escape your reality, by taking a peak into mine. Ask yourself what is it that YOU make public? For some it will be their musings and for others it will be their inner most deepest thoughts...I know for a fact that there are also some people who read my blog who have made public their entire body online and while that may have its own set of consequences who are we to say thats right or wrong.

Fuck, university has made me wise. I strongly recommend it if not for the knowledge you will obtain but for the incredibly loose times you will have.

Anyway looking at my watch it says only one thing its FRIDAY. So I have to go and get ready for some hardcore shenanigans. Stay tuned for my post about Leading Seaman Physical Trainer D.H, this guy I've been seeing ;) Ohh don't you just loveee semen...*seamen.

Not Just A Blog About Sex, Pubic Hair And Getting Drunk

Contrary to popular belief this is not just a blog about sexcapades, the maintenance of pubes and getting fucked up. I have decided to integrate a how-to once every now and again to stay hip and relevant (yes i just used the word hip). 

People love learning how to make stuff so I'm going to give my audience exactly what they want. The only problem seems to be that I'm not too flash at cooking and I definitely don't think I should be telling anyone else what to do, so I stuck with a treat that I know well and although its not a secret recipe my grandma passed down to me or something the requires a lot of skill I think that everyone should know how to make these tasty treats simply because if you have enough of them they will literally take you to a whole new level.

Introducing...Vodka Jelly Shots- Dirthouse Style

Now you can be absolutely hopeless in the kitchen (like me) and still be able to make these babies with ease. 

All you need are two ingredients:

• Jelly- I chose raspberry flavoured 
• Vodka- How cute are these little bottles I found in my underwear draw

Attached to the Vodka was this cute note that my friend made...Nawww

Now I know those bottles are cute and all but at the DH we don't like to fuck around with our bottles of booze, so i brought in something a little more...substantial. 

Okay, first things first- lay out some plastic shot glasses on a tray, I got these bad boys from Woolworths for $2.99

Now its time to start making your jelly. You will need 1 cup of boiling water and 100mls of cold water and 100mls of vodka mixed together. It is important to put in the cold water so that the jelly sets...if you're fine with unset super sweet liquid then forget about the water and just put 1 cup of vodka. I've done this before and after a few shots I didn't even care that my jelly didn't set. 

Add the boiling hot water to the jelly crystals (don't bother putting your hot water in a glass to make it look like you have super excellent preparation skills because you will burn the absolute fuck out of your fingers, like I learnt after I picked up the cup below). 

Once you've added the boiling water you must dissolve the crystals by stirring rapidly...or not rapidly just make sure that every damn grain of crystal has dissolved. 

Add the water and vodka mixture

And stir once more...I think I should do a post on how to stir too as this obviously requires a great deal of skill. 

Next pour your mixture into the shot glasses making sure not to spill it, come on we're not drunk yet. 

Put in the fridge for 4-5 hours to set (the duration of time it takes to do your make up) and Whollaa you've got you some tasty-as-fuck jelly shots perfect for entertaining friends or getting your younger brother or sister secretly drunk if they aren't aware that this vibrant coloured jelly is actually laced with sweet sweet alcohol! 

Give your self a pat on the back because you've actually just made something great! 

After making the shots I realised that Friday is actually a pretty big deal and I needed more than jelly to express my appreciation for it being the beginning of the weekend. So i did what any part-time worker/uni student who is amazing at procrastinating would do, I went out a bought a dozen metallic balloon and wrote HAPPY FRIDAY on every darn one of them. 

It really ended up being quite a spread...

Lady Bernie very much appreciated my avo dip (another very complicated recipe consisting of avocados and a lemon mixed together garnished with a bit of salt and pepper). 

A couple of wines and jelly shots later we were loving life and the balloons a little too much...

Unfortunately I didn't get any more pictures of the night, we ended up going to The Beresford Hotel where I ran into a boy I did cheerleading in high school with, met a small blonde girl who took me all the way to North Bondi to meet her boss and entice me to have a threesome with them (they failed dismally) and was introduced to a handsome guy who works in the navy (very exciting prospects). It was a very big night so as you could imagine a good coffee was very much in order this morning. 

As we sat in a filthy sea of crumbs, balloons and empty shot glasses I realised that there was only one thing to do and that was to do it all over again. So, Happy Saturday everyone...I'm meant to be going on a party bus with Geordie Shore, but I already have a feeling that it might not be the greatest idea. Oh well I guess we'll know tomorrow. Enjoy your weekend everyone! 

Once Upon A Time...

As I was walking to work yesterday shivering and kicking myself for thinking that a crochet dress would be warm enough (every little hole was like an invitation for the cold to come in and lurch onto my skin) I literally stopped dead in my tracks and asked myself...

How the fuck did I get through the winter last year?

I literally couldn't remember feeling cold last winter- I only had memories of crisp morning air, velvet roses and fluffy ricotta pancakes. It then dawned on me that this time last year I was enjoying the company of two very different men. I have no doubt that it was their company that kept me warm especially during such a dramatic transition (from tropical Noosa to cold inner city Sydney life).

Then again, after looking through the pictures posted below I wonder if it could have just been an extra layer of fat that kept me from ever feeling the cold...

T'was a glorious winter, that winter of 12'

We shared ricotta pancakes doused in strawberry coulis and thickened cream. 

He had tattoos and stubble and only ate meals fit for a king

Breakfast time was our time, when the mornings were crisp and the buttered toast was hot

He spoiled me with velvet, a dozen times over

But i'll let you in on a secret- the real key to my heart is a good hearty steak!

And then came man No. 2...

He was like George of the jungle with his athletic physic, scooping me up a bunch of flowers from the forest floor and tying them together with a leaf.

He liked exotic flavours and treating me to a late night feast

But he also loved nothing more than to cook for me while sat on his balcony in his warmest jumper and watched winter pass me by.

I was one very happy girl indeed in the winter of 12'

This was the first photo I took of my room (now Queen K's room) in the Dirthouse. I only just realised that there is a man with me here. I suppose he kept me company until the day Queen L moved in...coincidentally this man and i stopped seeing each other a week after I met Queen L. 

I wonder what this winter has install for me? Until I find a new man to keep me company I always have  my fireplace and the ladies of the Dirthouse, In fact tonight we are going out on the town. I'll be sure to update you in the morning...from wherever I may end up ;)

Happy Easter!

Hope everyone is having a fabulous Easter, We've been getting up to no good as per usual...Queen L loves putting balls in her mouth...by balls I'm mean err...eggs...chocolate eggs. 

Yum Yum! 

Filthy chocolate teeth

Xxx