Back To The 90s - Dirthouse Style

My recollection of the 90s was The Backstreet Boys (fighting with mum about which BB was the hottest - she liked Kevin because he was hairy and manly and I LOVED Nick Carter because he was well Nick Carter), excessively playing Aqua on my discman and thinking I was cool because my closet was decked out in Mambo denim. Its safe to say I've come a long way since then (I now play Aqua on my iPhone) but every Sunday morning The Dirthouse queens and I still find ourselves listening Third Eye Blind or Alanis Morissette if not for the sobering lyrics but to convince ourselves that its just ironic that four grown women have ended up severely hungover and filling in the blanks of the night before, yet again. So, in order to bring back the 90s and not have to worry about losing our purses or our way home we decided to throw a little shindig at The Dirthouse. We erected a marquee and decked out the backyard with all things 90s, from glow in the dark stickers to multi-coloured hullahoops and 90s balloons (which we had trouble sticking upright hence 06 in the photo below). We invited along a bunch of our closest friends and created the mother of all playlists with everything from Nirvana to Eiffel 65. Of course it would be a 90s party without red cups, a highly potent bowl of punch and an American Pie marathon playing in the background. 

So without further a due - this is the 90s, Dirthouse style...

I can't really tell you how Queen L got ahold of a neon pink can of spray paint but I'm really glad she did as it ended up becoming the perfect backdrop for the wild night that followed...

In the photographs below I will use quotes as hints to who the famous 90s characters that attended our party were...

"I do not wear polyester hair, okay? Unlike some people I know like Shawana."

"Is that...is that hair gel?"

  "Been shopping with Dr. Suess?"

- "Well at least I didn't skin a collie to make my backpack"

- "It's Faux".

"Hey did you see that?"

- "Urg. Skateboards. Thats like so five years ago".

"Yo. I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want. So tell me what you want, what you really, really want."

Gwen Stefani hanging out with some beautiful 90s partygoers... 

"WHOA MAMA!"

This shot looks like it is straight out of a 90s teen sex comedy... 

TM being smooth as Vanilla Ice...

And then things started to get, well... a little messy...

And messier...

And at 10:45pm this was the last photograph I managed to get...a bit of a worry seeing as though the party didn't end until 4am. We're still finding Mentos and other iconic 90s food in all sorts of weird places including wedged behind the couch and half buried in a number of pot plants, not looking forward to cleaning this mess up - but I can definitely say the mess was well and truly worth it to bring the 90s back to The Dirthouse just for one crazy night! 

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A Very Special Lady

Let me just start off by saying that my mum isn't just a mum, she is like a super hot older sister with a killer set of pins and the kind of infectious personality that just makes her a thrill to be around. There are obviously a few things I don't like about her including the fact that she is always a couple of shades tanner than me and her feet are unbelievably good looking (she was definitely a foot model in a past life) but I can't really hold those things against her. The truth is my mum is an incredible woman and so this Mothers Day I wanted to send her a special care package to show her that I really do appreciate her and love her endlessly.

So I slipped into a pretty dress (trying the savour the last of the warmer weather) and set out around Surry Hills to find a collection of her favourite things.

There are many things that my mum and I have in common and one of the of those things is our love of pretty underwear! Whenever she comes down to see me we go and visit the Bendon Lingerie outlet in Alexandria. They stock much loved brands like Elle Macpherson, Pleasure State and Loveable for a fraction of the cost. For the mothers day package I bought her two Elle Macpherson g-strings and cute floral print bra (just between you and I the three pieces only cost me $40 in total!).

When I first moved to sydney mum came down for a weekend to help me unpack, during an afternoon stroll on Crown Street we stumbled across Thomas Dux Grocer (now my local supermarket) I remember being taken back by all the gourmet treats and array of health food options. Mum went straight to a crate of golden toffee apples and didn't part with them until we had demolished the entire packet. 

Lovingearth's range of Raw Dark Chocolate is pretty self explanatory, this stuff is seriously delicious and reactively good for you. I got this crunchy mint infused bar I from Maloneys, another one of mums favourite places to shop in Sydney. 

On the way home from Maloneys I stopped by an enchanting boutique paper store called Paper2. Paper2 is located in the heart of Surry Hills and has an extensive range of luxury stationary and other nick-nacks. I ended up sending mum a little weekend away ticket as a cheeky hint that I desperately want her to come and visit me, little does she know I bought her a real ticket as well ;)

Its not heart felt gift without a hand written letter...

On my way to the post office I scooped up a small handful of Autumn leaves and put them into the package as well, you know for that extra element of Surry Hills Authenticity ;)

I think it means a lot more when you take the time to compile a gift with a little personal significance to the one you love. Its one thing to send someone flowers (thats actually what I did last year) but its another thing to source out all of the little things they like and watch in delight as they open it and ask "how did you even remember that!?"

After I posted the parcel I walked home empty handed feeling a little sad that I wasn't going to be able to give mum her gift myself this year. It wasn't long before I spotted the perfect distraction sitting amongst the leaves on my doorstep...

Oh Asos you cheeky devil!

 I guess you get what you give, eh ;)

Thumb Ring and Velcro Wallet Guy

When I turned twenty I told myself that I would start drinking tea and stop taking selfies. It just seems that as you get older somethings that you would have possessed or taken pleasure in doing before are no longer acceptable. After a string of bad dates my housemates and I got talking about men who in one way or another have not evolved past a certain stage or fad in their life.

Take Leading Seaman Physical Trainer D. K for example: After meeting him in a bar we organised a date at a very low key venue in Surry Hills. As I was considerably sloshed on our first encounter  I didn't remember much about him except for the fact that he was tall yet playful like a thorough bred labrador. Naturally when I went to meet him for our first date I was somewhat worried that I wouldn’t find his dog-like attributes as appealing in my now sober state. When I finally saw him across the room I gave myself an imaginary hi-5. He was tall, muscular and incredibly handsome with thick dark hair and periecing green eyes, however, as we sat down I noticed something which instantly made my stomache churn.

Subject A: The Thumb Ring

There are many hearsays about men who wear thumb rings but in my opinion, and this is not to get confused - nothing good comes of a man who wears a ring on his thumb! It is just a weird, unattractive, incredibly outdated trend and I have absolutely no idea where it came from. The only place a man should wear a ring is on his ring finger, unless you are my old spunky micro-economic lectuer who then I encourage to ditch that wedding ring.

Moving on…

After I noticed the ring I tried to distract myself with mildly erotic thoughts related to his job as a leading seaman. All of the heroic boat things he would do:  battling huge waves, thumb ring, yelling orders, sweat enducing workouts in khaki attire, thumb ring, saving lives and fighting for the freedom of Australia, seamen, see-men, semen, big fat sterling silver with weird tribal enragving THUMB RING.

Look guys, I’m not that vain. I can date guys with scruffy hair, who wear boat shoes and drive shitty cars but there’s just something about a masculine male thumb adorned with jewelry for mere aesthetic purposes that I don’t quite get.

Well Queen K actually trumped my thumb ring guy with a man she recently went on a date with. He took her to a cool underground place in the city, chose a nice selection of tapas with some wine to enhance the flavor palette and even struck up some fairly engaging conversation about philosophy and climate change it was only at the very end when all his hard work came undone. As he reached into his pocked he pulled out no other than…

Subject B: The Piping Hot Velcro Wallet

CCCHHHHHHHHHH…That’s the sound a Velcro wallet makes when its being opened, the sound becomes even more abrasive than you could possibly imagine when the man who owns the wallet is in his mid 30s.

Mateeee, what are you thinking? Its common knowledge that the brand Piping Hot and Velcro wallets in general are reserved for adolescence and young boys persuing a part-time job at their local fish and chip shop. Theres a reason why you can only fit 1-2 cards in there and that’s because those kind of wallets are designed for buss passes and school I.D’s only…not credit cards and certainly not a place to store your business card or a wad of 50s!

I do realise that the tone of this article was highly critical but I do believe there are some things we have to grow out of in order to progress to the next stage of our lives (and in the case of these guys) to score a second and maybe even a third date. Its not rocket science boys - if you wore it or did it 20 years ago maybe its not something you should be doing now. Admittedly its been one and a half weeks since I turned 20 yet I have already been caught taking a selfie…or two. It’s a learning process for us all but in reagrds to to the seaman and his bling bling, if I’m allowed to publicly take photos of myself  and my meal on our next date than you can most definitely wear your ring, until then I think will leave my interaction with semen where it belongs…behind closed doors.

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Speaking of Seamen Lady B and I had a fabulous Anzac day...we went to Cargo Bar and played two-up until the sun set and then we danced our way late into the night. It was a very big day indeed. 

So big in fact that the next day this poor sailor chap was completely unaware that he'd sent me a message that was actually intended for a girl named Bec...How and why a man named Sudeep got my phone number i'll never know.

Awkward.

The Surry Hills Breakfast Club - Cowbell 808

So I have finally gotten around to starting a segment that I would like to call the Surry Hills Breakfast Club. Breakfast is indeed your most important meal of the day and who knows breakfast in Surry Hills better than a couple of local hipsters. Of course thats not me I'm referring to (apart from owning a pair of navy Vans but thats more like surfer chic) i'm talking about Queen L and her new man, the quintessential hipster who is now permanently attached to her hip. Queen L's new pimped up ride also makes an appearance in this weeks blog because it has gold rims and matte black detailing reowwww. Enjoy...

Cowbell 808  

So i have decided to kick this portion of the blog off with some of the meanest pancakes in town, fluffy morsels of absolute pleasure that you will only find at a little place called Cowbell 808 conveniently located on 616 Bourke Street, Surry Hills.

Brew, Beats & Bites what more could you want really? Now this little place is relatively new to Surry Hills, so much so that we were all a little sceptical when it first opened its doors - just another cafe that strives to be even edgier than the last we thought? It wasn't until my neighbour told me that it had pancakes to rival Bills famous ricotta hotcakes that I decided to go and test it out myself.

Naturally I had to take along the world's toughest pancake critic, Queen L...

And her new boyfie (she's adamant that they are official yet but the fact that they have started wearing the same thing to breakfast suggests otherwise) who is actually a massive legend of a guy.

Anyway back to Cowbell 808, this place is seriously decked out - probably better than most cafes in the area. The decor is a quirky mix of basketball hoops, giant lego heads and other bits and bobs that raise an overwhelming sense of nostalgia. The huge stack of records under the counter are awesome as well as the saturday-night-fever-esque disco ball hanging from the ceiling but I think the main attraction of this place would have to be the little old couple who you'll find working the floor every day. They won't hesitate to totter over for a chat or put their hand on your shoulder to ask you if they can get you anything else, its like being at your grandparents place with a twist...

Yo grandparents ain't never made you pancakes like these before! These my friends are the famous Cowbell 808 fluffy ricotta hotcakes sandwiched between layers of incredibly smooth mascarpone with a hit of espresso syrup and ridiculously creamy bacon ice-cream (yes thats bacon) on top. These pancakes are taste bud explosive, coma inducing eye candy that I recommend you share with someone you love very very very much...and if you can't find someone who fits that description you're are just going to have to eat it all yourself. Toughy. Oh wait did I mention that they're only $14 as well? I think we all just found our soul mate.

We also ordered the smashed avo and re-fried beans on sourdough with coriander and lime and a delicious fried egg on top to cleanse the pallet in between bites of pancake. While Queen B thought there was too much beans and the flavour didn't really pack the punch I quite enjoyed this rendition of the classic "beans on toast" as it was filling and the beans were well...purple. $16 without fried egg, $18 with.

Mr. H Hanson tucked into the special of the day which was a 12 hour slow cooked beef sourdough sandwich with a perfectly fired egg. I assume there was more to his meal than just bread, beef and egg but to be honest Queen L and I were too busy tucking into our meals to take note. Nonetheless Mr. H Hanson let me have a bite and the beef was absolutely melt in your mouth amazing.

To be honest I thought the pancakes were going to be a little OTT with all of the fiery components but it really was quite the contrary. The bacon ice-cream was the only really sweet element of the dish which complimented the other more subdued yet perfectly textured flavours perfectly. Overall the Fat Stack Hot Cakes was the winning plate and the highlight of the Cowbell 808 experience. I must also make a note that unlike a lot of places in Sydney the coffee here is really good and to Queen L's delight they serve Bonsoy!

Unfortunately this is the toll fat stack pancakes take on two little hipsters...

But what better way to work it off than a stroll back to the Dirthouse. *The cafe in the photo is Cafe Zoe one of my faves...look out for a review soon!

Ohhhhhh how appropriate, a walkway thrift shop...

Its true...no one knows breakfast like us.